I wrote this one while sat in Autoglass waiting for a new driver's window to be put in.
I wrote this one while sat in Autoglass waiting for a new driver's window to be put in.
I've got a lovely Fiat Punto
That someone decided to break into
I opened my front door at 10 o'clock
And then I got a hell of a shock
I saw a mass of broken glarse
What a fucking pain in the arse
Of course you know, they missed a trick,
There's nothing in there worth to nick.
Sorting this out will take all day
And then next time I'll have to pay
Inc-reased insur-ance premi-um costs
This makes less sense than an episode of Lost(!)
Damage shortens the time a car will last
I'd love to smash the little bast-
-ard who did this to my pride and joy,
Just so they could steal a brand new toy.
This is not the first time my car's been wrecked,
When a woman backed into it with the force of Shrek,
In her business suit, she gave a pout,
Looked at the crater - "Ooh, you can get that out!"
Wing mirror torn off at New Year,
Not much in the way of seasonal cheer,
Still at least it was a cheap fix,
Just a shame that's how some people get their kicks.
- use second version of this one.
Some kids must've thought this a jolly jape,
Force a screwdriver in, bend the door out of shape,
It's nothing less than vehicular rape
But at least they left behind my Level 42 tape.
(C) Dom Robinson, 2008.
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Added: 1 month ago
Views: 442
World Snooker Final - there goes the streaker,
Bringing a climax to the two-weeker,
Was
World Snooker Final - there goes the streaker,
Bringing a climax to the two-weeker,
Was that a long pink? Don't aim for the brown,
Dennis Taylor, the grump, he started to frown
He cursed that man, known for his craze,
This time interrupting the boys on the baize,
Concentration broken, their heads might spin,
Ronnie or Ali - who would win?
Celebrity streakers include Big Yin, Billy,
Dancing around London Piccadilly
For Red Nose Day, a time to be silly,
And show-ing off his grey-hair-topped willy,
Naked through Coventry, rode Lady Godiva,
on horseback - phew, I'd buy that for a fiver!
At a Twickenham rugby match we saw Erica Rowe,
Showed off her 40" chest - talk about "swing low!"
Back to the snooker, O'Sullivan was miles ahead,
Cos he'd had an extra day in bed,
While Carter worked hard, not feeling merry
He'd slogged away, beating Joe Perry.
Mark Roberts is the man who flashed his tackle,
Causing the crowd to go snap, pop and crackle,
A pouch stopped him short of showing his horn,
How apt, one of the commentators was Willie Thorne!
Mark got ITV bosses all in a flap,
When he jumped up on Fred Talbot's weather map -
On This Morning, part of daytime telly,
His protuberance just there, below his belly
The man's bared his flesh 150 times,
Yet never imprisoned for his minor crimes.. At the FA Cup Final and Grand National, ...and you know,
You can even buy streakers for your Subbuteo!
(C) Dom Robinson, 2008
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Added: 1 month ago
Views: 365
2008 World Snooker Final Snooker Streaker song
World Snooker Final - there goes the str
2008 World Snooker Final Snooker Streaker song
World Snooker Final - there goes the streaker,
Bringing a climax to the two-weeker,
Was that a long pink? Don't aim for the brown,
Dennis Taylor, the grump, he started to frown
He cursed that man, known for his craze,
This time interrupting the boys on the baize,
Concentration broken, their heads might spin,
Ronnie or Ali - who would win?
Celebrity streakers include Big Yin, Billy,
Dancing around London Piccadilly
For Red Nose Day, a time to be silly,
And show-ing off his grey-hair-topped willy,
Naked through Coventry, rode Lady Godiva,
on horseback - phew, I'd buy that for a fiver!
At a Twickenham rugby match we saw Erica Rowe,
Showed off her 40" chest - talk about "swing low!"
Back to the snooker, O'Sullivan was miles ahead,
Cos he'd had an extra day in bed,
While Carter worked hard, not feeling merry
He'd slogged away, beating Joe Perry.
Mark Roberts is the man who flashed his tackle,
Causing the crowd to go snap, pop and crackle,
A pouch stopped him short of showing his horn,
How apt, one of the commentators was Willie Thorne!
Mark got ITV bosses all in a flap,
When he jumped up on Fred Talbot's weather map -
On This Morning, part of daytime telly,
His protuberance just there, below his belly
The man's bared his flesh 150 times,
Yet never imprisoned for his minor crimes.. At the FA Cup Final and Grand National, ...and you know,
You can even buy streakers for your Subbuteo!
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Added: 1 month ago
Views: 361
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Josef Fritzl sings along to Men At Work's Down Under.
She lives in a flat down under,
Josef Fritzl sings along to Men At Work's Down Under.
She lives in a flat down under,
Where daughter breeds when I thump her,
Can you hear, can you hear her thunder...?
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Added: 1 month ago
Views: 886
Ode to the evil Josef Fritzl
Josef Fritzl spent most of his life,
Doing his best to de
Ode to the evil Josef Fritzl
Josef Fritzl spent most of his life,
Doing his best to deceive his wife,
Building a new life underground,
Despicable deeds a long time not found.
A cellar with the height of 5'6,
He raped his daughter, the fucking sick
bastard did it seven times,
Let's hope he now pays for his crimes.
No human contact, feeling trapped in a corner,
No visits from Nitty Nora the bug explorer,
What would have happened if they'd got head lice,
Still, doesn't that fucker look like Vincent Price?
It's unthinkable that for 24 years,
Amongst all the shouting and screaming and tears,
No-one stumbled upon his masterplan,
He even squeezed in a holiday to Thailand!
Trapped in the cellar, the stench was fowl,
Speech from the kids is an animal growl,
Neighbours saw things but pretended not to know,
It's a sick twisted version of the Truman Show!
With dodgy moustache and face unshaven,
He brought the offspring into their haven,
With each one abandoned by his daughter,
unable to cope, allegedly distraught
That was the outcome for only three,
A similar number was due to see,
Daylight, yet for one we learned,
Died after birth and into the furnace was burned.
It beggars belief his wife knew fuck all,
While several occupants were climbing the walls,
It was only when one became seriously ill,
That all of the secrets below did spill.
So what's his punishment now they're free?
He can't do much time at 73,
Locked in his cell, might attempt suicide,
That'd be a blessing in disguise.
(C) Dom Robinson, 2008.
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Added: 1 month ago
Views: 971
Added: 2 months ago
Views: 36
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