We Wish You Would Bury Christmas - Nick Gisburne
4,394 views 12 years ago
We Wish You Would Bury Christmas By Nick Gisburne Yes it's here again, believe it, there is nothing you can do It's been creeping up on all of us and now it's coming true Can't ignore it, can't escape it, you are trapped within a maze Hearing Christmas music everywhere for ninety fucking days Christmas Day? Christmas fanny! I am having none of that I would rather chop my fingers off or violate the cat If you want to know the reason for the season, this is it: It's a waste of money, Christmas time is shit All the shops are filled with snowmen, there is tinsel by the mile And on every cheery Christmas face a stupid fucking smile I don't understand the message that you want to get across Balls to Christmas, I am bored of it, I couldn't give a toss Merry what? Merry bollocks! Stick the tree right up your arse I am sick and tired of Christmas, it's a scam and it's a farce If you want to know the reason for the season, here's a clue: Eat and drink and drink and eat and drink and screw So the family is gathered for the first time in a year And you wish they'd all been trampled by a herd of Santa's deer But the little ones are hoping they'll see Rudolph in the sky Can't they choke on turkey sandwiches or fuck off home and die? Santa who? Santa shit-head! You're not on his fucking list He's your uncle in a costume and he'll grope you when he's pissed If you want to know the reason for the season, check his breath That's not cranberries, it's crystal fucking meth And there's always the religious one who wants to say a prayer But she thinks again with boiling gravy poured onto her hair It's not bad enough that Easter gets the god squad in a flap No, they have to ruin Christmas with their superstitious crap Jesus who? Jesus wank stain! Who the bloody hell are you? You were born inside a stable, eh? Well whoopty fucking do If you tell me you're the reason for the season, yeah, so what? You were crucified? Well I'd have had you shot Where's my Christmas spirit? In a bottle, in my fucking hand I'd be happier if Christmas time was burned alive or banned It's been sent to torture all of us, a never-ending grind And it's all because some pervy God took Mary from behind Jingle what? Jingle bell end! I've had quite enough of this Every happy smiling face I see sends shivers down my piss If you want to know the reason for the season, read the book Merry Christmas? I don't give a flying fuck
Poems and stories written and performed by me, Nick Gisburne. If it's poetry, I can almost guarantee that someone will come to a sticky end. In my poems there's usually a price to pay!