Motherfuckers Took my Condoms!
Comedian
ScrewLimbBizkit
Style: Stand-Up
Joined: 14 June 2008
Last Sign In: 13 hours ago
Videos Watched: 2,811
Subscribers: 20
Channel Views: 1,932
I'm a Conmedian. Here are some of my best jokes:

I pissed of a Homeless guy. I walked by him and just started laughing. Homeless guy goes: What's so funny? And I tell him it's an Inside joke so you wouldn't get it.

I was talking to god and after the conversation he said "Be free my Son" and I'm like "Look pal I don't wanna be your son! I've read about what happens to him!"

My cousin thinks he's gay. Well at least that's what his boyfriend thinks.

I used to have a to steal Cucumbers. I would Just stick them In my Pants and Walked out of The Store everybody Would Think I just Have a Boner. And it Worked Great! Until I ran into the Male Swim team...now everybody at Food Basics thinks I'm Gay!

I get into a Lot of trouble at a bingo Hall. The man Calling the numbers was at least 96. And at one point the numbers were I-69. SO he says: "I 69" and without thinking a randomly blurt out "OKAY YOU HORNY SON OF A BITCH YOU ARE WAY TOO OLD TO BE DOING THAT SHIT!"
Influences: Jon Dore Lewis Black Jerry Seinfeld Carlos Mencia Dave Broadfoot Gord Disley Ron Sparks Russel Peters Geogre Carlin...oh! there are to many to mention!
Similar To: me!!!!
K-REALLY SILLY
Y-IS LOVED BY EVERYONE
L-FRENCH KISSER
E-SHY BUT FRIENDLY

I love heavy metal Music.
I love Funny Movies.
I Love Big Titties

I fuckin Hate Censorship! People will blame the latest fads to get attention away from themselves! That's why Marilyn Manson was blamed for the Columbine shootiong, he was on top of the world in 1999, so to get people away from blaming gun laws and bad parnting, they pointed fingers at marilyn manson! If you don't like something, don't look at it!


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I love Marilyn Manson

92% of the teenage population would be dead if the Jonas Brothers decided breathing wasn't cool. Put this on your profile if you would be one of the 8% laughing hystarically in the background!!!

92% of the teenage population would be fat if Nick Jonas said he liked fat girls. Put this on your page if you would be one of the 8% laughing hysterically in the background!!!

╔╦╦═╦═╦═╗Put This On Your
║═╣║║╔╣║║Channel If You
║║║║║║║║║Love Korn
╚╩╩═╩╝╚╩╝♥.♥.♥.♥


98% Of Teenagers Say "I LOVE YOU" And Dont Mean It. Put This On Your Profile If You Are One Of The 2% That Does.

KORN RULES!

Censorship = Facism
Facism = Closed Minded Thinking
Closed Minded Thinking = Broken Dreams
Broken Dreams = Bad
Bad = Not Good

╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your site
║╚╣║║╚╗If you like to laugh! XD
╚═╩═╩═╝

A quote from my Girlfriend-People like to call me a cunt. So I call them dicks. Because In the end-Boys would rather be with a cunt, then a dick :)

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I DON'T WANNA LIST MY FAVOURITE MUSIC AND SHOWS...SO JUST ASK ME IF I LIKE A CERTIAN MOVIE OR BAND.

METALLICA truck | |""""\___
|_...__..._____===.|=|__|..... ,]
"(@)'(@)""""""*|(@)(@)""""'(@)
Join the Metallica Truck Today

[][][]--[][][]--Put this
[][][]--[][][]--on your
[][][]--[][][]--profile in
[][][]--[][][]--memory of
[][][]--[][][]--all those
[][][]--[][][]--who died
[][][]--[][][]--on 9/11
City: Niagara Falls
Hometown: Niagara Falls
Country: Canada
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Connect with ScrewLimbBizkit
My Recent Comments
I Got Tagged Again (14 hours ago)
Cool...I belive in Magic!
For Marilyn Manson (14 hours ago)
sicK! o o Love It!
what rymes with wiggy?
plus look closley. at one point you'll see a picture of marilyn manson and the spooky kids flash on the screen
yeah...but...uhhh....(runs away)
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Views: 137,288
Comments: 20
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Channel Comments (217)
teeteebe (11 hours ago)
stop sendin me these stupid ass videos
Braddourifsgirl (1 day ago)
oh i'm sorry lol.
dude, i read your jokes....they are HILARIOUS!!!
jessicaluvspizza (1 day ago)
you know it dope show rules
oliverclozesoff (1 day ago)
Hey thanks about my page, yr new NIN look is pretty groovy too! Back to school, so not as much time to play. The same for you? Sucks doesn't it,lol. Anyways thanks again, and I am going to try yr jokes out.
megan2495 (2 days ago)
baha, socks?
mmm, now that was random.
Braddourifsgirl (2 days ago)
hey wats up??
megan2495 (3 days ago)
haa, yeah
XD

so how are you?
zuvichsonnier85 (3 days ago)
Hello! nice profile, stop by mine! :)
ScrewLimbBizkit (4 days ago)
gOING OFFLINE. HOPE YOU LIKE MY BG. IF YOU DON'T SHELL COME OUT OF THE MONITOR AND SPANK YOU!
KaylaManson13 (5 days ago)
man, your background always gets better and better <3
i just popped by to ask how you were doing!!
Report background graphic.