The Onion

214,206 views 10 months ago

Finally, we can be proud of paper again: The Onion returns to print, and you can be part of it. Visit membership.theonion.com.

Onion News Network

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The Onion News Network has returned. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from now until the end. Not watching is an act of defiance.

God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia | Onion News Network

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517K views9 months ago

JD Vance Under Fire For Resurfaced Remarks Criticizing Childless Children | Onion News Network

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395K views9 months ago

Voters Warned Ballots Flushed Down Toilet Will No Longer Be Counted | Onion News Network

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226K views8 months ago

Trump Vows To Outlaw Electricity To Secure Powerful Amish Vote | Onion News Network

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960K views8 months ago

U.S. Deploys Socially Awkward Men Along Border To Deter Migrants | Onion News Network

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1.7M views8 months ago

New Trump Ad Shows Montage Of People He’ll Kill If Elected | Onion News Network

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995K views8 months ago

Videos

The Onion Cultural Standard: Real Housewives of Atlanta

3.3K views3 hours ago

Be Part Of History

57K views4 days ago

Satellite Images Reveal Drunk Father Stockpiling Fireworks | Onion News Network

78K views10 days ago

FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System

102K views2 weeks ago

Congress, Now More Than Ever, We Need Your Cowardice

169K views2 weeks ago

The Onion Film Standard: 28 Years Later Review

60K views3 weeks ago

Onion Film Standard

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The Onion's head film critic Peter K. Rosenthal examines movies both new and old.

The Onion Reviews 'The Fast And The Furious'

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138K views10 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Deadpool & Wolverine

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147K views11 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

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97K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4

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169K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: Oscars Edition

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74K views2 years ago

The Onion Reviews ‘Scream VI’

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58K views2 years ago

Now: Focus

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The Onion puts a face on the most pressing issues of our time.

Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly

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149K views3 months ago

Former Cult Leader Reveals How He Escaped Needy Followers

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294K views3 months ago

CEO’s Son Explains Why He Refuses To Let Father Help Him Sexually Harass Subordinates

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186K views3 months ago

Immigrant Criticizes Swimsuit Competition Portion Of U.S. Citizenship Test

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121K views4 months ago

Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas | Onion Now: Focus

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118K views6 months ago

College Student Explains What Its Like To Be First In Family Forced To Drink Own Urine In Frat House

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131K views7 months ago

Sex House

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Sex House - Reunion - Ep. 10

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3.1M views12 years ago

Sex Climax - Sex House - Ep. 9

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3.3M views12 years ago

Orgy Scheming - Sex House - Ep. 8

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5.3M views12 years ago

Sex In A Bottle - Sex House - Ep. 7

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5.4M views12 years ago

Dr. Sex - Sex House - Ep. 6

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5.8M views12 years ago

Banana Sex Olympics - Sex House - Ep. 5

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7.6M views12 years ago