The Onion

192,068 views 7 months ago

Finally, we can be proud of paper again: The Onion returns to print, and you can be part of it. Visit membership.theonion.com.

Onion News Network

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The Onion News Network has returned. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from now until the end. Not watching is an act of defiance.

God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia | Onion News Network

The Onion

490K views6 months ago

JD Vance Under Fire For Resurfaced Remarks Criticizing Childless Children | Onion News Network

The Onion

378K views5 months ago

Voters Warned Ballots Flushed Down Toilet Will No Longer Be Counted | Onion News Network

The Onion

216K views5 months ago

Trump Vows To Outlaw Electricity To Secure Powerful Amish Vote | Onion News Network

The Onion

922K views5 months ago

U.S. Deploys Socially Awkward Men Along Border To Deter Migrants | Onion News Network

The Onion

1.6M views5 months ago

New Trump Ad Shows Montage Of People He’ll Kill If Elected | Onion News Network

The Onion

969K views5 months ago

Videos

The Onion Cultural Standard: The Bachelor

28K views4 days ago

Death Of Chopped-Up Woman Ruled A Suicide

147K views7 days ago

Former Cult Leader Reveals How He Escaped Needy Followers

218K views12 days ago

Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day

87K views2 weeks ago

CEO’s Son Explains Why He Refuses To Let Father Help Him Sexually Harass Subordinates

160K views2 weeks ago

Local Teen Invents Masturbation | Onion News Network

314K views3 weeks ago

Onion Film Standard

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The Onion's head film critic Peter K. Rosenthal examines movies both new and old.

The Onion Reviews 'The Fast And The Furious'

The Onion

133K views6 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Deadpool & Wolverine

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141K views8 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

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95K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4

The Onion

167K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: Oscars Edition

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73K views2 years ago

The Onion Reviews ‘Scream VI’

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58K views2 years ago

Now: Focus

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The Onion puts a face on the most pressing issues of our time.

Former Cult Leader Reveals How He Escaped Needy Followers

The Onion

218K views12 days ago

CEO’s Son Explains Why He Refuses To Let Father Help Him Sexually Harass Subordinates

The Onion

160K views2 weeks ago

Immigrant Criticizes Swimsuit Competition Portion Of U.S. Citizenship Test

The Onion

107K views4 weeks ago

Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas | Onion Now: Focus

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112K views3 months ago

College Student Explains What Its Like To Be First In Family Forced To Drink Own Urine In Frat House

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124K views3 months ago

Expert Explains Why, Essentially, You’re Fucked | Onion Now: Focus

The Onion

1.7M views4 months ago

Sex House

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Sex House - Reunion - Ep. 10

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3M views12 years ago

Sex Climax - Sex House - Ep. 9

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3.3M views12 years ago

Orgy Scheming - Sex House - Ep. 8

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5.3M views12 years ago

Sex In A Bottle - Sex House - Ep. 7

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5.4M views12 years ago

Dr. Sex - Sex House - Ep. 6

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5.8M views12 years ago

Banana Sex Olympics - Sex House - Ep. 5

The Onion

7.5M views12 years ago