The Onion

221,264 views 11 months ago

Finally, we can be proud of paper again: The Onion returns to print, and you can be part of it. Visit membership.theonion.com.

Onion News Network

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The Onion News Network has returned. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from now until the end. Not watching is an act of defiance.

God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia | Onion News Network

The Onion

526K views10 months ago

JD Vance Under Fire For Resurfaced Remarks Criticizing Childless Children | Onion News Network

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399K views10 months ago

Voters Warned Ballots Flushed Down Toilet Will No Longer Be Counted | Onion News Network

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228K views9 months ago

Trump Vows To Outlaw Electricity To Secure Powerful Amish Vote | Onion News Network

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971K views9 months ago

U.S. Deploys Socially Awkward Men Along Border To Deter Migrants | Onion News Network

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1.7M views9 months ago

New Trump Ad Shows Montage Of People He’ll Kill If Elected | Onion News Network

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1M views9 months ago

Videos

The Onion Film Standard: Top Gun

25K views3 days ago

The Onion Reviews 'The Naked Gun'

88K views9 days ago

Shocking Video Captures Calm Police Officers Handling Situation Nonviolently

470K views2 weeks ago

White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off

426K views3 weeks ago

The Onion Cultural Standard: Real Housewives of Atlanta

34K views4 weeks ago

Be Part Of History

74K views1 month ago

Onion Film Standard

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The Onion's head film critic Peter K. Rosenthal examines movies both new and old.

The Onion Reviews 'The Naked Gun'

The Onion

88K views9 days ago

The Onion Reviews 'The Fast And The Furious'

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139K views11 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Deadpool & Wolverine

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148K views1 year ago

The Onion Film Standard: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

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97K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4

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170K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: Oscars Edition

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74K views2 years ago

Now: Focus

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The Onion puts a face on the most pressing issues of our time.

Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly

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155K views4 months ago

Former Cult Leader Reveals How He Escaped Needy Followers

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307K views4 months ago

CEO’s Son Explains Why He Refuses To Let Father Help Him Sexually Harass Subordinates

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190K views4 months ago

Immigrant Criticizes Swimsuit Competition Portion Of U.S. Citizenship Test

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123K views5 months ago

Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas | Onion Now: Focus

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119K views7 months ago

College Student Explains What Its Like To Be First In Family Forced To Drink Own Urine In Frat House

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132K views8 months ago

Sex House

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Sex House - Reunion - Ep. 10

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3.1M views12 years ago

Sex Climax - Sex House - Ep. 9

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3.3M views12 years ago

Orgy Scheming - Sex House - Ep. 8

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5.3M views12 years ago

Sex In A Bottle - Sex House - Ep. 7

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5.4M views12 years ago

Dr. Sex - Sex House - Ep. 6

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5.8M views12 years ago

Banana Sex Olympics - Sex House - Ep. 5

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7.6M views13 years ago

Posts

The Onion

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1 month ago

Gunman Takes Huge Swing Ordering Hostages Buffalo Chicken Pizza