http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum? id=282799181
&s=143441
buy
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum? id=282799181
&s=143441
buy that shit!
music and lyrics by bo burnham
Now I don't know if all boy scouts are gays
But they could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways...
I got a safe full o' cherries, cause I pop it and lock it,
A girl's like a fridge, once a week you should stock (stalk) it,
And girl, if your into a rimmin its only safe if your swimming,
And girl don't sit on the couch cause I treat my objects like women.
I spit fire like I just blew a demon
My shits so hot I leave the toilet bowl steamin
Girl im gonna tear it (tarot), like the cards of the gypsies
Youll bleed for so long youll get monthly ellipses.
If the pants are loose, girl I'll replete (re-pleat) ya.
You're a first time vegan and its nice to meet (meat) ya
I'm bo yo
And im the greatest rappa eva
And I'll weather your weather whether you think im clever or not
Think your better your not
Don't need a sweater im hot
Im a real G shawty that can really find your g spot
Go to a
Vagina orchard, count 1,2,3
Spin that plant around you got a third world country (whirled c*nt tree)
That's right, consider yourself warned
Im offensive and creative like handicapped porn
Your playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am?
Your pushin em together like a titty Venn Diagram
Look at that CRACK scuse me can I buy a gram?
Right below your diaphram, ass looks like your hidin ham.
First base, were making out
Second base, im getting faked out.
Third base, im getting take out
And I'd try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out
But I just don't know I said I just don't care
My flos so cold I need a tampon from a polar bear
Cause you can smell and spell my stink
B.O. lingers and it makes you think
Chorus...
Girls are like donuts when I be bustin bo nuts,
I can make em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze
Im like doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her.
Casue I skeet her so hard you could call her Patty Mayonnaise.
My girl is epyletic cause shes the one im jerkin with
Common you asian child laborer show me what your workin with...
Cause theres an inverse relationship between respect and sects
Im talking bout religious sects like a mormon sect
That says you cant have sex with members of different sects, but you cant have sex with members of the same sex
So if the sects cant be different, the sex can be same, then the only sex left is some left hand shame
And girl I left you cause u left the game and if that don't feel right then u can write my name
Chorus....
Look pass the skin and look to the lyrics
I run miracle circles around you like spherical lyrics
This isn't about ironic pigment
If youre imagining this then I'm a chronic figment.
My junks so long that it hangs and swings, so at the nude baech people think im lookin for lost rings
Play the skin flute while ur big boy sings and if you want to take it all wear African neck rings.
Haters call me gay, but that aint hatin
Cuase im not homophobic, my morals are straight and
If im in the closet then you are below me (blow me)
Takin the b-a-t out of basement, homey
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Added: 2 weeks ago
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http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
three of them never before seen on the internet. th
http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
three of them never before seen on the internet. the ep is called "Bo fo Sho"
music and lyrics by bo burnham
whats a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy,
and an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die
and whats domain, domain, range (xxy) a kid with too much in his pants
and two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de france.
split a decision with long division,
take the circumference of your circumcision
live like your data and when you're all "set"
put it all together and whatever you get.
is new math...
whats a bag of chips divided by five, thats a nike worker's meal
and santa clause mutliplied by "i" well i guess that makes him real,
and the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box,
how do u trace a scatter plot? give the pencil to michael j fox.
take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
live like your data, and when youre all "set"
put it all together and whatever you get...
is new math.
and if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me youd have a tree...
full of asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathetmatical minds make industrial smog.
and whats the opposite of lnx, duraflame the unnatural log.
support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
link kennedy and lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)
live like ur data...blah blah
word problems
if theres a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
in order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi (pie)
and theres a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
how long til it reaches adn kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor,
and if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his freetime and mealtime while on his knees
and if kim is half as old as bobby who is two years older then twelve year old tori,
for how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape
cause havin sex is like quadratic expansion if it cant be split then its time to stop,
and havin sex is like doing fractions, its improper for the larger one to be on top,
and havin sex is like math homework, i do it best when i'm alone in my bed.
and squarin numbers are just like women, if theyre under thirteen just do them in your head....
and new math
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Added: 1 month ago
Views: 705,576
http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
Mini ALBUM RELEASE on JUNE 17th on itunes!
six-songs
http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
Mini ALBUM RELEASE on JUNE 17th on itunes!
six-songs, three of them never before seen on the internet. the ep is called "Bo fo Sho"
beat and lyrics by bo burnham
walkin my poodles, man it never gets old
with my dogs on my leash i got bitches on the hold,
a first aids kit? thats a rhesus monkey,
i bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie!
get more ass than a giant donkey stable,
got more lines than whitney houston's coffee table,
i get more head than grammar school lice,
i'm like a walkin glacier i'm so decked out with ice.
Did you poop a virgin? cause that shit is tight.
jack ain't black, barry ain't white.
i do drugs in the bedroom, lie on ur back
cause i got the pipe and you got the crack.
though i'm sexually straight, your bound to find,
i'm mentally gay, cause i'll blow your mind.
the parents be snickerin "he shouldnt have written it"
but i'm constipated, couldnt give a shit.
chorus:
My name is bo fo sho,
a born bostonian,
aryan librarian at the WORDsmithsonian
the rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity,
i gave it this little part to give it continuity.
the fellas say
hey moron pass the gin
cause i'm an OXYmoron breathing OXYgen
give me the bottle, i'll chug two thirds
cause you bitches know fractions speak louder than words
and the ladies say
hey fellas i'm keepin it tight and if you play ur cards right you can have me tonight
should i blow you or beat you, brass or percussion?
oh stop, PERIOD end of discussion
chorus...
walking through the garden with food at my feet, picked up the celery but dropped the beat (beet).
we're in the hood ill take what you give me
was einstein's theory good...relatively
a smart queen's kingdumb, it doesnt mix
a litter of literates, a bunch of moby dicks
"get thee to a punnery" o-just to-pheelia
take you with a condomn "stainless-steal" ya.
half a pound of turkey breast, half a pound of chicken tits,
why are only crackers staying at the Ritz?
poverty, racism, isn't it strange,
that only the homeless are beggin for change?
i shocked Sherlock
What, son? (watson) (watt, son?)
Rosa Parks didnt call "shotgun"!
here's a bit of irony
a Ford Focus driver has ADD
How'd i come to master all these things?
like a tampon theif, i had to pull some strings.
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Added: 9 months ago
Views: 1,748,589
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http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
Six Song ALBUM RELEASE on JUNE 17th on itunes!
three o
http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
Six Song ALBUM RELEASE on JUNE 17th on itunes!
three of them never before seen on the internet. the ep is called "Bo fo Sho"
music and lyrics by bo burnham
hey I'm Santa Claus,
I'm the king of snow
I hate my wife because
she is ho ho ho
She used to please me everyday
Then she made it clear
that Santa's only s'pose to come once year
Now i buy whores
Rock n roll
and i stuff their stockings
with my north pole
I had a wonderful life
With a healthy household
and a beautiful wife
and a pot full of gold
then my wife spent my riches all by herself
and since women are bitches, blew a keebler elf
now i drink all day
and a part of me dies
cause my wife's gettin gangbanged
by the rice krispie guys
Everyday i get up, and i get to work late,
my boss says "hey whatsup?"
i say im grrrrrrowing tired of this shit
the kids they laugh cause im a sensitive cat
"big pussy!" i cant argue with that
if another kid gives me frosted flakes
i swear on my life, ill eat his parents.
im the easter bunny hey im back
used to funny now im hooked on crack
heaps of heroine aint no joke
marshmallow peeps, covered in coke coke coke coke
coooooke
drugs for life thats my plan
but now i have no attention sp.....
hey pat did you hear? all my elves got sick
i think they got herpes from some irish chick
santa, tony, could you guys please stop?
oh snap.....crackle and pop
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Added: 1 year ago
Views: 1,399,522
http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
Six Song ALBUM RELEASE on JUNE 17th on itunes!
three
http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
Six Song ALBUM RELEASE on JUNE 17th on itunes!
three of them never before seen on the internet. the ep is called "Bo fo Sho"
music and lyrics by bo burnham
Grab a seat have something to eat
help yourself its alright
If you want a beer theyre over here
But we only have coors light
Try a chip with my homemade dip
the stuff is out of sight
Right before bed we'll shave your head
glad to see you dressed in white
Cause its a Klan KooKout
Klan KooKout
Klan KooKout
Klan KooKout
Heres my wife/sister
she brightens up my day
she went away and i missed her
cause my moms a lousy lay
dont hang with foreign fellows
itll only be your loss
Stay here and roast marshmallows,
by the burning cross
at the Klan Kookout
Klan Kookout
dans on lookout
at the Klan Kookout
and if youre black
dont wanna see your face
theyre like highschool track
its just a stupid race
we got a plan
kill all the jews
are you a mexican
cause you seem confused?
senor...que? que? que? (kkk)
its a klan kookout
klan kookout
mein kampf? man, check that book out
at the klan kookout
all men are created equal, man that shit gets me pissed
heres an idea for a sequel, someone loses schindler's list
i cook i clean, cause im the hooded host
and on halloween, i dress as a...slaveowner!
we hate hispanics
hence the 20 foot walls
and all you goddamn dirty catholics
can cath-o-lick my balls
ethnics give off wierd aromas
and i cant understand
why we need highschool diplomas
with the bible in hand!
at the klan kookout
klan kookout
klan kookout
klan kookout
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Added: 1 year ago
Views: 1,046,065
http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
Six Song ALBUM RELEASE on JUNE 17th on itunes!
three o
http://goto.thesyn.com/boburnham/
Six Song ALBUM RELEASE on JUNE 17th on itunes!
three of them never before seen on the internet. the ep is called "Bo fo Sho"
SUBSCRIBE
this one is a tad offensive
music and lyrics by bo burnham
She was the perfect woman, in every single way,
She made the sun shine brighter, and all my cares go away.
She was the perfect woman, she was a gourmet chef,
They say that love is blind, well it's also deaf.
Cause Helen Keller was the perfect woman, and no one understands,
just how talented she was with her hands.
God made her the perfect woman, i was the finishing touch.
She was the perfect woman cause she didnt talk so much.
She wanted to name the kids, so i finally let her,
it turned out horribly, chewabacca couldve done better.. RAAAAAA
But a guess it was alright, we had a boy and a girl.
Just me and helen, uhhh-aaaa, and Earl!
Cuase helen keller was my miracle worker, i was her one-man-show,
I could walk around the house naked, and she wouldnt even know.
Helen Keller was my perfect woman, i was her only need
She didnt mind the zits on my ass, it gave her more to read
It gave her more to read....
She read poison ivy, she read acne, she read herpes, she read it all.
She read goosebumps, she read blisters, she even read a basketball.
Helen Keller was my perfect woman, but i dont think she cared.
I played this song for her, she just sat there and stared.
She was still my perfect woman, i was sort of a mess,
I asked her to marry me, she said, "UH-EE-OHHH!"
copyright boburnham
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Added: 1 year ago
Views: 1,408,013
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