The Onion

199,963 views 8 months ago

Finally, we can be proud of paper again: The Onion returns to print, and you can be part of it. Visit membership.theonion.com.

Onion News Network

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The Onion News Network has returned. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from now until the end. Not watching is an act of defiance.

God's Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia | Onion News Network

The Onion

499K views7 months ago

JD Vance Under Fire For Resurfaced Remarks Criticizing Childless Children | Onion News Network

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385K views6 months ago

Voters Warned Ballots Flushed Down Toilet Will No Longer Be Counted | Onion News Network

The Onion

220K views6 months ago

Trump Vows To Outlaw Electricity To Secure Powerful Amish Vote | Onion News Network

The Onion

936K views6 months ago

U.S. Deploys Socially Awkward Men Along Border To Deter Migrants | Onion News Network

The Onion

1.6M views6 months ago

New Trump Ad Shows Montage Of People He’ll Kill If Elected | Onion News Network

The Onion

981K views6 months ago

Videos

Elon Musk Creates Federal Employee Revenge Porn Database

84K views5 days ago

Trump Announces Seal Team 6 Killed U.S. Protester In Daring Overnight Raid

644K views13 days ago

The Onion Cultural Standard: Yellowjackets

28K views3 weeks ago

Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly

114K views3 weeks ago

Climate Protestors Throw Paint On The Louvre’s 1988 Copy Of ‘Hustler’ Magazine

97K views1 month ago

The Onion Cultural Standard: The Bachelor

38K views1 month ago

Onion Film Standard

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The Onion's head film critic Peter K. Rosenthal examines movies both new and old.

The Onion Reviews 'The Fast And The Furious'

The Onion

134K views8 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Deadpool & Wolverine

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143K views9 months ago

The Onion Film Standard: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

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96K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4

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168K views2 years ago

The Onion Film Standard: Oscars Edition

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73K views2 years ago

The Onion Reviews ‘Scream VI’

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58K views2 years ago

Now: Focus

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The Onion puts a face on the most pressing issues of our time.

Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly

The Onion

114K views3 weeks ago

Former Cult Leader Reveals How He Escaped Needy Followers

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273K views1 month ago

CEO’s Son Explains Why He Refuses To Let Father Help Him Sexually Harass Subordinates

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176K views1 month ago

Immigrant Criticizes Swimsuit Competition Portion Of U.S. Citizenship Test

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115K views2 months ago

Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas | Onion Now: Focus

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115K views4 months ago

College Student Explains What Its Like To Be First In Family Forced To Drink Own Urine In Frat House

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127K views4 months ago

Sex House

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Sex House - Reunion - Ep. 10

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3.1M views12 years ago

Sex Climax - Sex House - Ep. 9

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3.3M views12 years ago

Orgy Scheming - Sex House - Ep. 8

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5.3M views12 years ago

Sex In A Bottle - Sex House - Ep. 7

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5.4M views12 years ago

Dr. Sex - Sex House - Ep. 6

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5.8M views12 years ago

Banana Sex Olympics - Sex House - Ep. 5

The Onion

7.6M views12 years ago